The Lavatory Seat

An Award for Grumpy Achievement!

  1. Awarded to the most meritorious increase in the levels of imcompetence.
  2. Awardees must hold the Grumpy Trophy (herein and thereaftermost called “The Trophy”) until the Grumpy Executive (Herein and everafterwards to be known as “The Executive”) can be convinced that a new holder has accomplished a successfully doodoo (Herein to be referred to as a “a small problem”)
  3. Incumbents are responsible for inscribing their name (no telephone numbers please) and the date of acceptance on the back (The use of indelible felt tip pens is acceptable)
  4. This award has already witnessed some truly horrendous sights and has already gone through some torturous take-offs and landings without too much suffering. However in event of any future damaging experiences on no account must repairs be undertaken upon “The trophy” (Small paint chips may be touched up if necessary (The paint to be used may only be Humbrol “Evening Dust – Parkestone Front Gate – Silver Hammerite No.3”.
  5. Fixtures to walls, bulheads, deck heads or carpetted floors must be tactfully achieved. Recourse to 6 inch (15.24cm) nails or cyanoacrylate based adhesives is prohibitted.
  6. Holders are responsible for all postage, haulage, avgas, landing fees any any other costs involved in the handing over of “The Trophy”
  7. “The Trophy” is to be washed monthly and only with pure soap and water. It is to be lightly dusted weekly (no wire brushes allowed within 2 fathoms of “The Trophy”)
  8. Each Sunday the holder of “The Trophy” must stand in front of the “The Trophy”, bow solemnly and intone, “I have sinned. I have lots to be grateful for.” Whilst holding in their right hand a glass (full) of Grimbergen beer (Herein and aftwards to be known as “The Flyers Tipple”). During this ceremony sobriety is not essential.
  9. “The Executive” retain the right to expand, contract, change, dribble, waffle on ad finitum, in any regards to these rules and others, at any time or place yet to be decided and may, in any event, make up their mind as to anything.
  10. The initial award was made at the Grimbergen Fly-in 25/26th August 2001 to Grumpy Red.
 

The Grumpy Seat past worthy winners !